Coming back after such a long time seems like a short period to me. So much has happened, not everything in a good way, but I’m always looking for the good side of things. I know this one is going to sound tragic, pathetic and desperate, and right now it is how I feel, so this may be the only place I can actually let it all leave my body and soul. Who is gonna read this anyway, right?

Since November last year, I’ve been looking for opportunities in the tech industry. It has been a long journey with no end and no sight of improvement; however, I can’t and don’t want to give up. With so many resumes built, cover letters written, keywords, details and submitting more than 120 applications. It has been hard to receive rejection emails, few interviews, but mostly silence.

I’ve been trying to do everything as career advisors say, as experts say, Manitoba Innovates and Tech Thursday say. Nothing has had an effect, and looking at great classmates get jobs without doing what experts say has taken a toll on me. Am I doing something wrong? I just can’t find or even make enough time for being at events, to keep building, to keep learning, to keep applying. It is hard when I’m the only source of income to support my family.

I have lots of experience working in customer service and sales roles, even in lead positions. I’ve had my own businesses in music production and grocery delivery. I have learned and developed quite a set of skills. But my main motivation is creating, building, and improving. I have been a musician, a bass player, for more than 20 years. I have always used technology, software, and hardware, and learned how to use them by myself, only because they could make my experience in music richer and more fulfilling. I learned to use DAWs and other software for music production like Pro Tools, Cubase, Adobe Audition, Reason, Ableton, Reaper. Also, hardware like compressors, EQs, Limiters, consoles, mics, and also had to know my way with computers in order to use all these resources.

I learned to use Adobe software like Illustrator, Photoshop, Premiere, After Effects, Lightroom. I built my own music studio with my hands and the help of my father. I had a place to record, mix and master music. I needed a good computer, so I did my research and ordered parts to assemble it myself from scratch and configure it. I started getting attention and thought about having a website, so I built it on WordPress, like 10 years ago. That was how I first started to understand web development, by messing with HTML tags inside WordPress. And it was like music, feeling great by being able to create, to build and now to make something useful in a different way.

And that is why my projects are a product of improving and making my life easier, building something for my loved ones to enjoy special occasions differently, helping friends with their businesses and pain points. It is something I enjoy doing, when anything done is useful or maybe just gives them a really good time when using it.

So, I know I have what it takes; I have the skill to learn and become an excellent developer. I just want the opportunity to do it in great company. This is a reminder to me that the opportunity is there, that I have to keep trying, that even when I’m the only one who believes in this dream, it will provide and reward everyone I love. That in the future I will be reading this filled with joy because I kept trying. I’m writing this after my car’s something blew up (I really don’t know what, and I hope it is not too expensive), and thinking “This should be the bottom; I need to start going up”.

Like a friend’s story said today, Don’t give up, Amaru, Mora and Akira still need you.